Chihuahuas are so popular now, celebrities are carrying them around in high dollar doggy bags, there is a movie about them and YouTube has some great video clips on them. Chihuahuas are cool I've had them for several years.I have one named Burrito Beans, he's a tea cup, about 3 pounds. We named him Beans because the night we brought him home he had gas and sent everyone running out the door gasping for air. Somehow Burrito just got added on.
He's white, but I dye him pink, I give him paw-d'cures and paint his nails lime green. He is sexually confused, he just can't figure out if he is male or female. Sometimes he squats when he pees, sometimes he hikes his leg. When he hikes his leg he pees on himself this terrifies him and he screams and takes off running. Yeah he screams, he does this "oh oh oh" scream really loud and high pitched. When he does this I get the impression there is a little gay boy stuck in his body. If he could talk it would be in a high pitched tone and real fast.
We jog together, I tuck him under my hoodie, with just his head peaking out. He's bad, real bad. When he is securely tucked away under my hoodie he thinks he is a pit bull he growls to each person that jogs on by. But when I put him down he turns into a wuss and does the "oh oh oh" scream when someone approaches.
He's ugly, has big bubble eyes and a crooked buck tooth that doesn't fit in his mouth. His tongue is too wide so it hangs out on one side. He sleeps with one eye half open. His body is longer than his legs. His head is so big when he looks down his back legs lift up. I tell him he is too ugly to look at and needs to hide his face. He does, he puts his paws over his face. I tell him he is ugly all over, so he hides himself under his blanket.
He farts too, silent obnoxious fumes which always brings numerous comments from anyone so unfortunate to be within smelling range. Such an obnoxious smell coming from so small a dog is a real surprise. He gets lots of attention when doing this. I am beginning to think he has learned to control his farts and lets one out to receive attention. Such wild behavior, but sooo entertaining.
He's afraid of the dark, I have to leave a night lite on for him. If I forget he drags his blanket to my bedroom and sleeps on the floor next to my bed.
He's clumsy too, he doesn't look where he is going. He runs into trees, or chairs, he falls up the stairs, over and over again and each time he gets knocked down he sits with his eyes closed and does the "oh oh oh" scream.
He is scared of absolutely everything! Leaves blowing will make him pee and take off running. The cat grooms him and he's too scared to move, so he just lays there doing the "oh oh oh" scream. Just saying the words "big dog" puts him in a frenzy. He's afraid of fleas too. If I say he has a flea on him, he runs to the coffee table where I keep his comb and sits there until I comb it out. But in the car he is a 100 pound pit bull. He growls ferociously at anything that moves.
He accompanies me wherever I go. He has a puppy sofa, green brocade with buttons and tassels and a red velvet blanket that I keep in my car. He's my traveling buddy, my protector, the Great Pubah. Heaven forbid if someone approaches the car. He jumps on my lap and goes into protection mode, gnarling and growling like he is going to tear them to pieces with that silly crooked buck tooth sticking out. But - if they put out their hand to touch him he pees and does the "oh oh oh" scream.
Yeah Chihuahuas are cool! So how cool is yours?
Posts
